By Treva Susuras

Easy to say, but can be difficult. Happy is when things around you are going well. Happy is from the outside in not the inside out. What happens in a day can cause you to be happy or struggle. Have you ever been going along just as happy as can be then all of a sudden, someone comes along and says or does something and boom, happiness gone instantly? Anger begins to arise, sometimes even rage, and then if left undealt with can become depression and on and on and on… This can happen right in your own home. Being married can be difficult, having children can be difficult. Maybe you think someone else is the problem but if you check yourself with the word of God, you’ll figure out it is partly you and partly them. No one is perfect but when it comes to relationships, we tend to put the blame on the other person. You may be thinking your life could be happier if they (whoever they might me) would just get it together. We feel like we have the right to tell the person just what we think because after all it affects our life also. Then when there is anger and frustration built up in us when we do break, it’s a terrible mess. Instead of explaining what the problem is to our loved one we throw hurtful words at them. Think of it this way… say you are training someone to build a house. (I know, I know, not likely but just bear with me a min) So you are teaching some one to build a brick house. Do you hand them the bricks or do you throw the brick at them? You can gently hand them one brick at a time and teach them what to do with it. And before you know it, they can build a beautiful brick house, OR, you can throw the bricks at them, cause them to get hurt and retaliate by throwing a brick back at you.

Ask yourself, do I hand my loved one a brick or do I throw a brick at them? In most relationships, frustration sets in and can sever what God ordained to last forever. Your marriage, your children, your family… Nothing is easy, except blaming others instead of self-searching to make things better. Blaming others is never good. What we can do to take control over the situation is to ask ourselves, what is it I can do to make things better. Why is this person so angry and lashing out? Is there something about me that I need to change?

Believe me I know what it is to change. I am not even close to the person I used to be (thank God). My husband and I still have our arguments now and then, no one person is perfect… but… when we do or I have done something to make him upset, I ask myself is this him or me. Am I doing something I shouldn’t? It’s time for a self-check. Sometimes it’s me but sometimes its Doug. One thing I try not to do is throw a brick at him. I wait till the situation has calmed down, then, when things are calm, I tell him how what ever happened made me feel. I do not throw blame at him. He would not listen to me if I were angry and blaming so I need to learn to talk to him with love and respect. Then if we can all learn to do this in our lives, we will find more joy and happiness then we can imagine.

First, we must learn that the Joy of the Lord is our strength! The joy the Lord gives comes from the inside out not the outside in. Let’s search for peace and God’s will for our lives, then we find His joy and no matter what the devil throws at us we can overcome. Relationships get better and the Lord becomes the center of our lives. I remember a song from a long time back… it said… if you want the Joy you must ask for it, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…

Do this and one day you will be perfect like me… Not… do I still need work? We are all a work in progress, it’s so much easer to tell others how to do this than it is to do it ourselves. I am a work in progress! Not perfect by any means. I still have a long way to go, but I’ll keep chipping away till I get it right!

God bless! If you need prayer or any help in this area please feel free to contact us.