By Treva Susuras

I have to say this last month has been one of the hardest months of my life. July is always hard because it is the month, I lost my son. Even though it has been 23 years ago the sting of losing a child never stops. You just learn to live in spite of it.

Last month my nephew Scott passed away with Covid. The crazy part is the fact that he died on the 2nd of July and so did Gordon. Same day 23 years later. Gordon and Scott grew up together and were very close. I praise God for the time we had with both of them. They were each one very special guys.

Then to top it all off this same month my sister came down with Covid. We were sure she would beat it as her faith for healing was crazy strong but after struggling for about a month she lost her battle also. Sour with the eagles my sister, you are greatly missed. Gordon, Scott, and Clyrene, you are all greatly missed.

I say all this to make you feel so sorry for me,,, Just kidding, I say all this to tell you that no matter how much you are hurting, how broken you feel, there is a God that cares. A God that sent His Son to save us. And a God that gave us A Holy Spirit to comfort us in a time of great need. How do I know this is true you might ask? Because he is carrying me right now.

Jesus Christ is the only one that can help you in a time of need. He will lift you up and deliver you from depression, sadness and hurt.

I am not saying we don’t need to grieve, because we do need to grieve. I have been through so many stages of grief in the last few weeks and I am sure I’m not done yet but there is one thing I know for sure, I will be ok. The loss hurts, but I know my God, He is the one that caried me through the loss of my son, my mom, my dad, and many more losses. Thing is He is always there to pick up the pieces when I am broken.

One of the ways (many of you have heard me say this many times) I survive is to praise the Lord. When you are praising the Lord, you don’t have time to get lost in self-pity. That is what grieving is all about. What will my life be like without that person? For example, every loss has its own kind of grief. When I lost my son, I felt like a part of me was gone, like some of my future was taken and more on that another time, my parents, a different kind of loss, and my sister, a shocker. But now it’s time to grieve.

Let me tell you grief is not easy. As a matter of fact, it’s much easer to ignore, pack in the hurt and move on. BUT you can’t get around grief, can’t go under it, or over it. You must break through it. Like a big rock in your life. you may be thinking I have losses but I’m ok and you may be but deep inside is a pack of hurt that will come out one day. Very possibly in a negative way.

It’s not healthy to keep the hurt and grief inside. Not dealing with grief can cause you to become distant of the ones you love for fear of losing them. It can bring on addiction or many other life issues.

Then there’s our old friend (not) regret. I could of, should of, if I had known I would of…

No matter who you are or how long you have been serving God, you still will have feelings and hurt and anger, denial, fear…. These are just a part of dealing with grief.

The answer, cry when you feel like crying, for as long as you need to. Get it out don’t hold it in. Write your loved one a letter saying goodbye. Tell God how you really feel, He can take it. He knows what you’re thinking anyway. Repent of any regret you may be feeling and ask God to help you forgive yourself. Rid yourself of any guilt and condemnation. Make sure you love the ones that are still here, don’t leave any more room for more regret.

Praise God! No, I mean literally, with YouTube available we can easily find the music that lifts God up and helps us find peace and comfort. Look up praise and worship music.

Read confessions and affirmations. I have some on my website. Find someone to talk to you what you are going through this. Not someone that tells you what to do but someone that listens to you over and over and over…

You will make it, I promise, if you turn to Jesus for help. I will make it too! We are all going to be okay. If you are having trouble in this area or any other area, please contact me and I will be glad to help you through it. God bless!!