By Treva Susuras

Let me ask you a crazy question, are you the king or queen of denial? Nope it’s not a river in Egypt, it’s a reality in our life we refuse to see. Such as, “ I do not have an addiction problem, I am not stuck in an angry lifestyle, I don’t eat more when I’m upset, or purge after I eat and if I do any of this things it’s not a problem because I can stop any time I want to. I have no idea why I keep finding myself involved in another dysfunctional relationship, or I was born a perfectionist, it’s not a problem.”

Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you worry and stress about things to the point of making decisions that you regret later? Do you ever think, I do not have a problem, it is the people around me that have the problems,,,

When we worry and stress about things it is because we do not trust God in that area of our lives. It could be caused from our past experiences, or from our sin.

One thing I know for sure is the fact that if I cannot admit I have a problem, I can not receive help for it. The first couple of years that Doug and I were together I was not saved. We struggled over that fact a lot. He would constantly tell me what the bible said about different situations going on in our lives, I would take his bible and throw it at him. I was not a believer. I would never admit I needed Jesus because you see I was not the problem. I didn’t have a problem. I would never admit Jesus was even real, so what could He do for me? Doug was backslidden at the time or we would have never been together. He knew the truth and wanted to get his life back on track with Jesus but I was the thorn in his side. He loved me and my children, he had already accepted my first 3 children as his own, and then we had one more child together. Doug knew he had to get his life straightened out with the Lord and tried to tell me about Jesus all the time. I would not hear of it. It was a relationship that was unequally yoked. I would not suggest this for everyone, because it does not always turn out good for everyone. Praise God ours did.

Doug saw something in me that no one else had seen. He seen me for what I could be through the shed Blood of Jesus. He saw the possibilities ahead of me. He knew God could change me and use me. He didn’t give up on me and he constantly prayed for me. You could say he went to battle for me. Well, God heard his cry and saved me. Let me tell you what. I had done drugs, alcohol, was angry, very self-centered, and struggled with a dysfunctional past. I had been married 3 times before Doug, and had multiple abortions, and that’s not all, I could go on and on but I won’t. I want to get to the good stuff.

Jesus, was the good stuff. We had moved to Texas, and had been here for about a year when Doug finally talked me into going to church. We tried several and finally we found one we both liked. Shortly after, I accepted Jesus into my heart, and Doug rededicated his life to Christ. It was then that I begin to see truth in my life. I not only had problems but I was a problem. I had been a problem for Doug, my kids, my family,,, I had hurt so many with my life decisions and I needed to start the search for freedom. I began to see I had been in denial in so many areas of my life. It was then and only then that I was able to see the truth, about my drinking, the drugs I had done, the lifestyle not only I lived but that I had put my children through.

At that point it was time for me to see through the lies I had lived with all these years. Time to be transparent, to admit my sin and the wrong I had done. To really give my life to Jesus and never take it back. To change the things I could about myself. I began to reach out at church, to the pastor, and at the lady’s meetings. I began to go to everything I could find that would teach me how to be a better person. I began to look at myself with truth and to change the things I could change. I began asking for forgiveness from those I had hurt in the past. Little by little my desires began to change and I was sold out to Jesus. Praise God, He is worthy to be praised. My life took on a change I never thought possible. Actually, I never knew the life Jesus brought me into. Joy form the inside out not the outside in. I became a better wife, mother and friend. I began to care about people I didn’t even know.

When you admit you have a problem and begin to address them one at a time and before you know it you are living a life you could never dreamed you could live. For me, I did not believe I could be the person I am today and it is because Jesus loves me and because Doug took time to see in my what I could not see in myself. Jesus Christ changed me. Did I say if you have Jesus as Lord over your life you will never have problems again? NO, what I am saying is,,, God can set you free from sin and shame. He will create a new person in you. He will give you new hopes, and a new vision for your life. You will have trouble in this world but according to God’s word in John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so than in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus will always be there with you, saving you, delivering you, helping you through it. He will comfort you in the time of need.

I say all this to ask, are you struggling? Do you need help in this area? IHHM will be glad to do what we can to help. Are you stuck in the struggle form the beginning? Are you a born again Christian but going through something you need help with? Are you alone or lonely? Please feel free to reach out to us if you need prayer or mentoring.

If Jesus can change and deliver me, He can defiantly change and deliver you!!